... a Warning

I can't help but blog about this ..

An excerpt from my daily conversations with marge:

me:  oiieee...
in fairness marge ha..
he remembers you..
 Sent at 1:59 AM on Friday
 bcn.mcuer:  hahaha
bitaw bitaw
ingon sa ihatequotes na giretweet nya:
You should be lucky if you know someone loves you. Because some people don't even know someone had crush on them.
============

I soo agree to this!!
This is one of those things that I strongly agree on... so strong that I find a need to explain why..

Why?

Because feelings should be shared.. It should be let out.. Good and bad feelings..
So so much more good feelings..

I think it's in  every couple's "guide-list-to-a-perfect-relationship"  to always talk about feelings.
Even the talk about the bad feelings / arguments to fix the issues.

Now, this shouldn't  exempt those who are single (ehem.. to which me and marge belong!) Feelings shouldn't be kept too long inside.. Especially when  it's good to share.

Feeling/s is/are not some sort of "points" on a credit card or any other swipe card wherein the more you keep it, the more points you earn.!

No.

Real feelings are not like that.. It should be shared .. To whom it may concern.
I mean take this scenario:
This  one guy inside the room who feels so bad about himself..so many bad things are happening all at the same time in his life and he is feeling very alone..sad and to the point of depression.

On the other side of the room is this girl..who secretly likes this sad guy.But because of so many reasons (one of which is the dictate of social norms and mores) she can't bring herself  to ask the guy how he is and even more to say that she likes him.

Both of them know each other.


WHAT IF:

She talks to the guy.. and out of somewhere in the conversation the girl will mention that she likes him.
I bet my whole salary that no matter how sad or cynic or whatever the guy is, it will ignite a positive feeling about himself.
Wow.. I never knew that.. Somebody likes me..

I LIKE YOU..

is not the same as "I LOVE YOU".. (LOLS!! )

Oh come on! hahahahahhahahahaha.. That is where it gets WRONG..

My 2-simple steps  on this: ( This doesn't require any BS to understand. ( I'm talking about Bachelor's Degree))

1. When you tell someone "I like you. " Don't expect an " I like you too" answer. It's not a question darling. It's a statement and it does not require any answer.

2. When someone tells you " I like you. " Don't expand your head. YOu are not required to say " I like you too", just for the sake of giving an answer. A simple " Thank you" is enough.

There you go.! Those are the 2  things that my simple mind can understand..

an excerpt (again! ) from the conversation:

me:  o see!!! hahahhaa
i super like  that!!
so true!! dapat u tell people u like them ..not keep it.. they can use it! hahaha
 bcn.mcuer:  hahaha
use it as what?
that's dangerous
hahaha

===========


I agree with marge on the "dangerous" part. It becomes that when the 2 sides don't know how to give it and take it.
Well.. if you tell someone that you like him/her and he/she starts acting all god..then you'd know then that he has that attitude and its a sign that you are heading at the wrong direction.. switch gears.. fast!

If you can't say that line to someone without expecting an " i like you too" answer..Well, the danger sign is pasted on your face... that's the fastest ride to heartbreak hotel..


hahahahahahahahahahaha!! oh well..! that's just me and my strong need to explain my side on this.
hey! i'm not promoting infidelity.. flirtatiousity (whatever you call it) or telling you to be a player, playing hearts..
all i'm saying is one needs to know ..EVERYONE needs to have that good feeling of knowing that someone loves/likes/cares for him/her.

I am a witness to that.. I like a lot of people a lot of times.. I'd like to let them know that I like them.
But I'm not a player.. nor do i have a relationship . I'm single and happy and I don't have issues saying that.
And by far, I've had good experiences with those people who I told that I like them.

Well.. just a thought.. maybe  this line should have a WARNING tag  attached to it.


                           I LIKE YOU

           WARNING:
                   This line is dangerous if given with expectations or if taken in with thoughts of grandeur.
                   If symptoms persist consult your psychologist..

..that word which is hate

 I don't hate anybody....


1
2
3

(alter ego: oh really?! you don't ) hahahahahha!! )

(ego: duh!?! i really don't..! but there was this one time..... )

ME:
uhhhhhmmm... fine..! i take that back.. i do hate some..
I'm protected with the "humanity clause"
which goes:

"I am human.. of flesh and blood.. a man. I'm only human.. born to make mistakes"

(alter ego: hey! that's a line of a song! )

(ego: i know! so?! it's a clause for me! )

ME:
I call it humanity clause.. and yes, it's a line from a song.. and it's easy to remember.. so be it!
hahahahahhahahhahahhahaha

Between my alter ego and my ego.. ME stays in between..
or i think.. i'm really making them fight ! hahahahaha..


We'll going back to what I was saying.. I don't hate people.. I do.. but after sometime I don't remember who..

Now, I think that works.. I can't be un-human and not feel hatred.. I feel it..I hate some once in a while...
FOr some reasons at that certain time.
But as all other things in the past that passes.. that hate eventually fades away...

Feelings like those shouldn't stay for a long time. It's like those dirt at home that accumulates over time but eventually you get to do house cleaning so it gets cleaned..

Let's go back to now.. Is there someone I hate?
Well..

(alter ego: there is.. there is.. )

(ego: why? )

ME: yes. there is.. for some reasons that I can remember til now..
maybe in sept. i'll forget this.. hahahahahaha...



(alter ego: finally you admitted..)
(ego: amen to that.)

.. an ode to the past

Right, I don't blog often.. owkay..i take that back.. i blog rarely.. hahaha..
oh well.. the usual thing, busy..no time.. caught up in the daily routine..finding reasons not to blog..and on top of all that.. lazy!
hahahaa! I confess.. i'm honest.. but i'm lazy when it comes to blogging..


I read back on the my previous blogs and I was amused.. really amused! hahaha

wewww!i guess i had a "difficult" time sometime back then.. the drama and all..
but , again, that's all in the past.
I'm happy to say that i've moved on and moved up.!
At least those "bad" times didn't go unrewarded.
As bad as it was, it's as good as it is now.

That's why now is called "Present" because it's full of surprises..

So that's where I am now.. PRESENT times..

and i owe this to my past..

                                                                          ... an ode to the Past

lines.. lines.. lines..

blogging again.... haaaaaaaayyy..

to be honest i'm envious of marge's blogs.. you know her random rants and ramblings!
so here i am.. following her ..blogging my heart out! hahaha

well.. to start with , im officially on RD so it means that I can do anything I want.. no pressures!
yeah right.. im pressuring myself to do this..

hmmm... this is what I call official free day..

hmmm.. ok.. what should I write about..?
it should be about me ..right? I mean this is my blog.. hahahahhha

oh well... i've been fairly ok the past weeks..past months ..
ohh the usual overstressed-still-single-finding-excuses kind of way..
but then you know people are always around.. giving you lessons unconsciously or just giving smart thoughts.. unconsciously still..

so here goes my Kudos to all those who left an impact on me..
unconsciosly..


Nancy-- "take things at a stride.."
Janice-- "be prepared to be alone.."
Dr. Manhattan -- "life is so over rated"
Margaret -- " we dont know each other, but that's exactly the reason why i want to know you
more.."
Chiss -- "we'll keep what we can keep"


aaayyyy.. maybe it was just lines to you..but to me, it somehow made me stop and stop..
and a button clicked in my head. bitaw sah!

mwah mwah mwah!!

..at the turn ..

2010.

Ahhhh.. I like the sound of it. The numbers. 2..0..1..0..

It got zeros in it.. Two zero's in fact..

Well, no matter how things are, there is always something at the start of the year that makes you think of the past year.
Me? I don't want to.. really.. BUT then again, I dont wanna be a cynic so I will look back..

Learning the lessons in life, last year was not bad.. oohh--at least in some areas though.
I'm no one to brag but I have to take this into account..
I got the "Employee of the Year" award..

What is bad about that?! NOTHING.


I AM THANKFUL..>> all Caps!

When I was still in engineering class. I learned about inversely proportional and directly proportional.
directly proportional , meaning equal.
inversely proportional , meaning the opposite of it.

I carried that logic with me..
Now, I'm convinced that, career life is inversely proportional to the personal life..

THEORY: career life is inversely proportional to the personal life..
PROOF: I got the EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR.



hahhhahahhahhahahahhaahahahaha.. I am laughing.
not the sarcastic type..
but the real laugh kind.!

That's the best joke of the year for me..
oh well... Im learning.. always..always..always..

2 lessons I learned from 2009 :

1. be contented, but don't settle.
2.things have a way of taking care of its own.


HELLO 2..0..1..0.. ! :)


It's intriguing.. surprising.. exciting.. another journey into an unknown time..
tough times.. it doesn't stay..
tough people.. they do!

wwwwwwoooooooohhhooooooooooo!!!!



some things just dont change though.. old year or new year..

we still learn the lessons in life!!


PEE NEEWWW 2010!!!!

..bittersweet emotion

contagious..

i am contagious..

aahhh.. it's not a wonderful feeling.. in fact , its the worst feeling.

i'm sad.. obviously.. ive been blogging about how sad i am lately.
someone told me , i am emotional. yes, i am.

guilty.

i am emotional.
i feel a lot of things.
i'm not complaining though, i like to feel it.
life is like ..chalk.. without any feelings in it.

right now, i am just utterly sad..
i wanna go to bed and just lie there.
i dont wanna be with a lot of people, i feel like some sort of virus.
scared that if i am with normal happy people i might contaminate them with my virus.
virus=sadness.

aarrgghhh..sucks!

my heart is in ICU right now.
closely monitored , after being severely hit..crashed..and then broken!
hahahahhaa..funny! i am finding humor in this.

i dont also want to go out and drink and get drunk.. naahh.. that's too happy and too.. i dunno..
for now..yes, i must admit , i am pathetic.
i am wallowing .
i am feeling stupid.
i am sulking.
i am crying.
i am sad. super sad.

my heart is going through a lot.. but on the better side, my mind is still fine.
don't get me wrong , i am sad right now..but i am not wanting to die
nor wasting myself away. nor messing the life of the one who hurt me.
no.

i am sad. i know i am. it hurts. it sucks.
depressed . hurt and wounded.

but, i'm thinking .. in the 365 and 1/4 days in a year..how many days can i count that I have been sad.. ? can't remember how many ..
this is one of those days.. but its not all the 365 days..

i am emotional. and i will feel this sadness..
so that by the time I will be happy again, I will remember to treasure every minute of it.
ironically, i'm learning a lesson now..
a lesson in HUMILITY.

humble enough to accept the things I cant change and things I cant have....
Lord, give me strength to go on..
I know you are there, thank you..

now, another realization hit me.

the truest smile and happiness, comes from the survival of the most painful experience..


amen.

... another crazy noon.

saturday afternoon..

i feel so lousy.. just been crying the whole day and i dont even feel close to stopping..
it's so real..

ouch!

i cant stop crying.. i ask myself... is this bad?
i answer me.. yes, its this bad..

do u ever get that feeling that its just not right..
that you dont know what to do.., but do you really DONT know what to do?
or you just dont want to do it?

people keep on saying that it's ok.. i know that its gonna be ok..
but how come it just doesnt feel ok...?


people say that Im strong, i can do it..
i can get past this..
yeah, i know.. but at this point.. it just dont feel that much..


today is the present.. tomorrow is gonna be another day..
whatever happened to yesterday? ...lost in time..

screen is blurry.. tears are starting to fall again..
i wish there was a definite answer to the question.. " if you can go back in time, what would you change and why?"
everybody says "nothing, it was all mean to happen.."
was it really?

if it were, why are we sighing and wishing that we could go back to the past.?
why is that question even asked?


i got incubus playing ..

i still cant stop the tears.. i know i should.. but it just wont..
let it fall..


pardon me while i burst into flames..